heismandiego:

me when i’m wearing new clothes

blendingwith-thatscene:

Have to reblog again

<b> me as a pedestrian:</b> [catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM<p><b>me driving:</b> say your prayers<p>

katara:

olives tastes like hot fart and liquid ass 

blastortoise:

Why would you intentionally eat olives like what in the fuck? are you okay? is someone forcing you to do this? You need me to call the police let me know so we can help you

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse; But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom.
Anonymous

swinging-onthe-spiral:

iguanamouth:

image

image

I’VE SEEN THIS POST FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS AND JUST NOW GOT THE JOKE.

MOTHER FU-

Thanks! I checked out your main blog and your art is so perfect, holy cow *^* you need to stop being so awesome, okay?
Anonymous

no you!!! thanks a lot though, it means a lot, im glad you like my art!!

vinebox:

That one friend that dont fuck with pets